Manxy's Quote-a-rama!

Dinner Plans

Tue, 13 May 2008 23:34:02 GMT

Nicki: I saw you took some hamburger out of the fridge
Er freezer
Whatever.

me: Whatcha wanna do with it?

Nicki: I dunno. We could do tacos...

me: I say we make little balls and throw them at the floor.
To make floor-seasoned patties.
Which we will then microwave.

Nicki: .......That means there'll be rat turds in them...
.....This is the most vile idea ever

me: Microwaving will kill the bacteria.
And bring out the flavor.

Nicki: Of ass.

me: Of rat ass.

Nicki: So.
Nasty

Snake Oil

Fri, 28 Mar 2008 06:24:32 GMT

Manxifer: http://www.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2008-03-27-rattelsnake-vodka_N.htm?loc=interstitialskip
egyptian316: I can't imagine a situation where I'd need an erection so bad that I'd drink vodka infused with rattlesnake juice

Just Talkin' Bout WoW

Wed, 26 Mar 2008 20:23:11 GMT

Nicki: ...Buttpickle. Level 25 Dwarf Hunter

me: God.
What's his pet named, he asked, not really wanting to know the answer?

Nicki: I didn't catch it

me: I wonder how long I could run around with a pet named "Anus."
What would be the funniest pet to name "Anus?" I'm thinking crab.
Seriously, I picture a blue crab running around with the name Anus floating over his head and it just makes me laugh.
Sent at 1:17 PM on Wednesday

Nicki: You ARE tired *laughs*
You're talking about Anus the Crab

me: hahahaha

Nicki: All I can say is I wouldn't want to run around with you if you had an anus crab

me: "Anus the Crab!"
::refrains from setting his status in Gmail to that::

This One's for All the Wizards in the Cizzastle

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:18:38 GMT

Manxifer: *casts Doom on you*
egyptian316: ow!
Manxifer: It shouldn't hurt yet.
egyptian316: *looks up* What are those numbers?
Manxifer: Don't worry about them until about, oh, 3.
egyptian316: *looks up* Ah, okay. It's still at 5014
Manxifer: Dammit. I knew I a Doom spell for five bucks had to have a catch.
egyptian316: That's what you get for shopping at Balthazar's Bargain Black Magic
Manxifer: I dunno if it's even worth casting this Fire 0.2 spell on you.
egyptian316: Did you get that out of the quarter machine?
Manxifer: Yeah, it was in a little pink egg.
egyptian316: Well that explains the Homiez all over your altar
Manxifer: You got something to say about the Ordo Vato?
egyptian316: Just that I'm getting tired of the other wizards laughing at us
Manxifer: Oh, don't you worry about them. They'll rue the day they laughed at us! Rue it, I tell you!
egyptian316: Does rueing involve doing a big brodie on our azalea bushes? Because they did that again
Manxifer: Dammit! Get my hat and robe. The ones covered with moons and stars. Also my fake beard. We're going to go have a little chat with them.
egyptian316: Still at the dry cleaner
egyptian316: I told you to buy the cotton robe
Manxifer: But... the sparklies!
egyptian316: We do have your old wizard robe.
egyptian316: And a fake mustache I bought at the swap meet
Manxifer: Which old one?
egyptian316: *pulls out the robe of sackcloth*
Manxifer: God. Did I ever think that was fashionable?
egyptian316: You were kind of in a weird place back then
Manxifer: I guess.
Manxifer: Well, we're at least going to pin some paper stars and moons to this.
egyptian316: *fetches the construction paper*
Manxifer: *runs happily off to get the safety scissors and glue sticks*

Razzlin' and Dazzlin'

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:15:33 GMT

egyptian316: So I got this great book
egyptian316: "How to Cheat At Everything"
egyptian316: I'm considering a career as a carny
Manxifer: O_o
egyptian316: I have all the qualifications
egyptian316: I dislike people, I have no problem lying to strangers and I never wash my hands.
Manxifer: Do you smoke and wear a filthy hat all the time?
egyptian316: Hmm. I need a hat
egyptian316: There's a story about a wealthy industrialist going to a carnival and losing at a game called Razzle Dazzle.
egyptian316: The Razzle man managed to get him to drop $95,000.
Manxifer: ... you wish you were known as The Razzle Dazzle Man, don't you?
egyptian316: ...yes
Manxifer: ... good.
egyptian316: I'm not the only one, am I?
Manxifer: No sir.

It's Like a Reunion Special

Wed, 18 Jul 2007 04:03:52 GMT

Manxifer: I should try the bed thing again.
egyptian316: Maybe you should go to your actual bed
egyptian316: The Bed Thing is...well it's terrifying
Manxifer: It's not that bad. Now help me fasten this breastplate on.
egyptian316: *hands you your sleeping helm* Yeah, you better go quick. I just saw an ad for Peter Chung's Tomb Raider.
Manxifer: Jesus. I'll take my chances with the Bed Thing.
egyptian316: If I had to choose I'd take my chances sleeping in a gas oven.
Manxifer: We have one of those, you know.
Manxifer: I converted the garage.
egyptian316: I don't know about that.
egyptian316: I mean, Old Man Withers is Jewish. If he finds out you're building an industrial-scale gas chamber in tha garage...
egyptian316: ...well usually his senseless violence doesn't have a justification, you know?
Manxifer: Hmm... I never thought of that.
Manxifer: I just wanted something big enough to cook Irradiated Turkey this year.
Manxifer: I paid good money for that bird, and I'm gonna fucking eat him come hell or high water.
egyptian316: Based on the last reading on the ol' geiger counter I'm not convinced he's still what you'd call 'good eatin'
egyptian316: That guy from the government came by and told us that if we try and dispose of the turkey it's got to be buried in a lead vault.
Manxifer: Well, then that's what we'll do.
Manxifer: After we stuff, cook, carve, and eat him.
Manxifer: By the way, I figure we'll have a lot of food this year, so feel free to invite your family.
egyptian316: I don't know if they'll make it. Family business you know.
Manxifer: Oh well. Maybe we can invite some neighbors.
Manxifer: Think Slicey would like to carve the turkey?
egyptian316: I don't know. Does Slicey know how to carve a turkey?
Manxifer: Hrm. I bet so.
Manxifer: If not the Ganbaatar Brothers probably do. Judging by the various skins and pelts and animal parts around the junkyard.
Manxifer: *goes down the list* Okay, Slicey, Irradiated Turkey, Old Man Withers, and the Ganbaatar Brothers. Any other names we need to drop before I go to bed?
egyptian316: Hm. I think you got all the big ones.
Manxifer: Yeah, I think that's probably good.
egyptian316: *tries not to make eye contact with the Giant Evil Crab on your back*
Manxifer: *gathers up the 48 dachshunds*
Manxifer: G'night!
egyptian316: Night!

OVF and Unfortunate Imagery

Sat, 07 Jul 2007 04:58:24 GMT

egyptian316: I just have to survive tomorrow and I reach the promis'd land
Manxifer: Operation Vacation Fun?
egyptian316: Yes
egyptian316: Yes indeed
Manxifer: That explains the uniform and the riding crop.
Manxifer: Hmm... maybe that didn't evoke the image I wanted it to.
egyptian316: I prefer to think of it as a swagger stick
Manxifer: And that most certainly did not.

Stupid Chess-Winning Robot...

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 12:30:09 GMT

egyptian316: sup?
Manxifer: Nothin much.
Manxifer: You?
egyptian316: Playing chess against the computer
Manxifer: I don't think Stup-O-Tron counts as a "computer."
egyptian316: Are you still mad because you got checkmated twice by this thing?
Manxifer: You know, this crowbar will work on you just as well as that fucking robot. Maybe better.
egyptian316: That's why I bought this crowbar-proof hat
Manxifer: ... and one for the robot, I see.
Manxifer: Well. You win this round.

Arming Your Wristwatch

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 12:28:21 GMT

Manxifer: You're back.
Manxifer: Did you bring me anything?
egyptian316: I got you an ex..a watch
egyptian316: Here, put it on right now.
Manxifer: This doesn't look like any watch I've ever seen. Where are the numbers?
egyptian316: You can't see the time until you arm the watch
Manxifer: Oh... well how do I do that?
egyptian316: You put it on your wrist, then you activate the timer. Then you'll always know what time it is for the rest of your life!
Manxifer: Fine, fine.
Manxifer: *slips it on*
Manxifer: *pushes the timer*
Manxifer: How do I set this? It looks like it's running backwards.
egyptian316: It..er..it's setting itself!
Manxifer: Will it take long?
egyptian316: Here, let me go behind the blast shield and get my camera. I want to take your picture wearing your new watch!
Manxifer: Oh! I think it's getting close!
Manxifer: Five...
Manxifer: Four...
Manxifer: Three...
Manxifer: Two...
egyptian316: *raises the camera to the bullet-proof glass*
Manxifer: One...
Manxifer: ... zero...
Manxifer: Negative one?
Manxifer: Negative two?!
Manxifer: Hey, what's going on here?!
egyptian316: That's what I'd like to know!
egyptian316: That guy promised me that watch would...that it would keep perfect time!
Manxifer: Perfect negative time!
egyptian316: Let me see that stupid watch. *snatches it away*
Manxifer: Fine! You can keep your broken -...
Manxifer: Wait, what's that red button do?
egyptian316: Well of course it wasn't working right. You didn't press the*is blown through the roof*
Manxifer: *peels himself from the wall, looks around*
egyptian316: *falls back down through a different part of the roof*
egyptian316: ...
egyptian316: ...so I also got you some new sunglasses.

Comic Relief

Fri, 23 Mar 2007 12:25:26 GMT

Manxifer: Tsup?
egyptian316: Not much. Reading funny books, watching History Channel
Manxifer: Funny books, hey? Which one is it? Nazi Smasher?
egyptian316: Captain Freedom, Feminist Fighter
egyptian316: It's written by the guy who created Wonder Woman
Manxifer: O_o
egyptian316: ...you don't know if I'm kidding or not do you?
Manxifer: ... no sir.
egyptian316: That's as it should be

This Old Bed...

Thu, 15 Feb 2007 06:14:57 GMT

Manxifer: Aaanyway. Time for the old bed.
egyptian316: *looks at that shabby bed in the corner* Are you sure?
Manxifer: It's full of magic.
Manxifer: Also mites, but I'll deal with them soon enough.
egyptian316: If by magic you mean hobos, then yes I agree.
Manxifer: Actually, by mites I mean hobos.
egyptian316: ...I see.
Manxifer: By magic I mean whiskey.
egyptian316: Go to bed
Manxifer: ... fine.
Manxifer: But no whiskey for you.
egyptian316: *makes a face*

QAR Request #2

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 19:51:11 GMT

egyptian316: *peers at your setting notes*
egyptian316: I notice you've named this small town Electric Ladyland.
Manxifer: New Electric Ladyland, technically.
egyptian316: What happened to the old one?
Manxifer: It was burned to the ground in the Fourth Midget Uprising.
Manxifer: Which didn't involve midgets, by the way.
egyptian316: They just blamed the residents of Migitonia?
Manxifer: There is a long and bloody history between those lands.
egyptian316: You'd think it would be hard for them to war with one another with this range of 50,000ft mountains between their respective countries
Manxifer: ...
Manxifer: There are... tunnels. Or something.
egyptian316: Wouldn't that be dangerous? Those are all active volcanos!
Manxifer: Hey, Dr. Geography, who's writing this setting?!
Manxifer: Besides, I don't crack on you for Catgirl Island being a peninsula.
egyptian316: You leave my precious Catgirl Island out of this!
Manxifer: Oho! Looks like the shoe's on the other hand now, eh copper?
egyptian316: This is totally different! Catgirl Island was a land rich in history and character!
Manxifer: Was? What happened to it?
egyptian316: Well after the Mage-Kings of Zanzuminart completed the Wishmotron...
egyptian316: *looks away*
Manxifer: How did they get the Gem of Kivrimilami?
egyptian316: Well after Osbert son of Osmork raided the Temple of Qualimondius he took the Gem to King Froder. But it turned out that Froder was killed and replaced by a doppelganger who was also a succubus working for the Mage-Kings.
Manxifer: I know we're being wacky and all, but you really need to run this game.
egyptian316: It's a tragic tale fraught with great sorrow and many long names.
egyptian316: Actually, I used Catgirl Island in my D&D game
Manxifer: Yeah?
egyptian316: Yep.
egyptian316: The deposed princess who was posing as a man had to marry the catgirl princess in order to secure a treaty with them. It was the only way for them to get the ships they needed for the war effort
Manxifer: \m/-_-\m/
egyptian316: *bows*

QAR Request #1

Sun, 19 Nov 2006 19:48:50 GMT

Auto Response from PantheraMnementh: Thank you for calling Ass Masters, Inc. All of our associates are busy at this time. Your estimated hold time is 2948752934875 minutes.
Manxifer: Dammit. I'm never gonna get that ass I ordered.
PantheraMnementh: it's just as well. what would you feed it anyway?
PantheraMnementh: I hear they're messy too.
Manxifer: Ass Chow. Duh.

The Things I've Seen With Your Eyes

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 03:35:11 GMT

egyptian316: *throws water on you to awaken you*
Manxifer: Sorry, I was reading old quotarama entries.
egyptian316: It's like a trip down memory lane, if none of the things you remembered actually happened.
egyptian316: You'd be like Blade Runner, only with less of a chance of Darryl Hannah wrapping her legs around your neck.

Yahoo Serious Film Festival

Fri, 22 Sep 2006 03:27:41 GMT

egyptian316: Yo
Manxifer: Whuddup?
egyptian316: Not much
egyptian316: Reading Panty Explosion
Manxifer: I know what all of those words mean, but i have no idea what you just said to me.
egyptian316: It's a role playing game where you all play Japanese schoolgirls with psychic powers
Manxifer: ...

It's Been a While

Fri, 20 Jan 2006 22:31:00 GMT

Manxifer: How long you off for? Just this week?
Egyptian316: Until Wednesday
Manxifer: Alex will be working, but would you be up for a Great Journey North?
Egyptian316: All my days are open except Sunday
Egyptian316: I 'spose I could be persuaded
Manxifer: Ah, right. Sunday. The celestial alignment.
Egyptian316: Hey, the moon doesn't get into the eighth house of Aquarius every night you know
Manxifer: No, no. I understand perfectly.
Manxifer: Just, uh... will you be... opening any "doors" this time?
Egyptian316: No no, I learned my lesson
Egyptian316: This will be more of a "call ye hence"
Egyptian316: At least that's what the book says
Manxifer: Oh, that's g-... what does that mean?
Egyptian316: Not completely certain
Egyptian316: I figured this was as good a way to find out as any
Manxifer: Well, remember to put up all the proper wards this time.
Egyptian316: Boarding up the windows should be good enough right?
Egyptian316: Drawing all those wards is kind of tiring
Manxifer: I bought a pack of pre-made wards down at Ye Liveliest Thriftiness. They should do the trick.
Manxifer: *realizes too late Ye Thriftiest Awfulness would have been funnier*
Egyptian316: It's alright, you'll get it on the next take

Word

Sat, 19 Mar 2005 03:02:32 GMT

Egyptian316: MC Craiggy Craig
Manxifer: Grandmaster Slack.
Egyptian316: So how much longer do we have to use these court-ordered old school rap names?
Manxifer: Until we "learn our lesson." Whatever that means.
Egyptian316: I wouldn't mind the names so much but the pants...
Manxifer: Actually, I'm rather starting to like the pants.
Manxifer: I mean, if you had asked me a week ago if I needed eight pockets in my pants, I would have said no.
Manxifer: But look at me now!
Egyptian316: You do seem to have a lot more pocket space. And the clock necklace is a lot more convenient than a watch.
Manxifer: Yeah.
Manxifer: You getting any better on those turntables, though?
Manxifer: They said something about a "live performance" at the hearing.
Egyptian316: I dunno.
Egyptian316: I mean I can cut a record from side to side, so what the ride the glide should be much safer than a suicide.
Egyptian316: Still, I feel like I'm not ready.

Meet Murder-Bot

Tue, 22 Feb 2005 09:13:42 GMT

Egyptian316: *returns victorious, his enemies many fleets burning behind him*
Manxifer: Hey, Brian how are y- MY FLEETS!
Manxifer: What have you done to my beautiful fleets?!
Egyptian316: You know you ought to get a fire extinguisher for those or something. They burn like a wick.
Manxifer: M-my fleets....
Egyptian316: Hey, the little blue one isn't burned up.
Manxifer: *narrows his eyes*
Manxifer: You know what this means, don't you?
Egyptian316: Are you going to challenge me to a duel to the death again?
Manxifer: Yes. And this time we're going to the death! Even if I lose!
Egyptian316: So this will be what, the third time this week?
Egyptian316: *chooses his weapon*
Manxifer: What's that? What do you have there?
Egyptian316: This is Mutsu-no-Kami. It's the most powerful sword in the world. It can cut the world in half.
Manxifer: Oh....
Manxifer: Can it cut robots in half?
Egyptian316: I think so. I haven't tried it yet.
Manxifer: Oh.
Manxifer: Well. Uhm. In that case, I appoint Murder-Bot as my champion! He shall, uh, do battle for me. And... die... gloriously... if, uh... if need be!
Egyptian316: Murder-Bot? I didn't know you had built a new OH JESUS WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
Manxifer: That's Murder-Bot.
Manxifer: Remember all those parts we had lying around?
Manxifer: From all the Killbots? And Rapping Robot? And every other robot I've made in the last seven or eight years?
Egyptian316: Huh. Well it's pretty impressive I'll admit. Guess I'll just have to give it a go and hope for the best. Now where did I set that sword down?
Egyptian316: *looks around*
Egyptian316: Hmm, it seems to have cut through the crust of the earth and sunk into the mantle.
Manxifer: ....
Manxifer: So what... does that mean we're not fighting?
Egyptian316: I don't know. What does the stone tablet say?
Manxifer: The stone tablet Murder-Bot just stepped on?
Egyptian316: Damnit. I guess we'll have to order a new one from Crazy Old Man. It'll probably take a week or two to get here too.
Manxifer: So... does that mean no duel to the death?
Egyptian316: We should probably postpone it for the time being.
Egyptian316: I mean if we're going to destroy each other in an act of senseless rage we might as well do it right.
Manxifer: I guess.
Manxifer: I just hope Murder-Bot is around by then.
Manxifer: I mean look at him.
Manxifer: He's held together with baling wire, hot glue, and my nightly prayers.
Egyptian316: He doesn't look happy either. Like the weight of the world lies heavy on his troubled brow.
Egyptian316: You should have built him with a happier brow.
Manxifer: Hunh. I guess I shouldn't have used Poetron's old head.
Egyptian316: I'm suprised he can still stand upright with those flimsy Dance-o-Matic legs.
Manxifer: You'll notice he sometimes holds himself up with Robo-rilla's mighty arms.
Egyptian316: Ah. Well that explains the bananas. And the feces.
Manxifer: No. That's... not why those are there.
Egyptian316: Oh
Manxifer: Yeah.
Egyptian316: *looks away uncomfortably*

Spider Combat

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 05:59:51 GMT

Manxifer: *puts a bug in your hair*
Egyptian316: Is that a Bird Eating Spider?
Manxifer: Well... I haven't seen it eat a bird myself, but that's what the guy I got it from told me.
Egyptian316: I mean, it's certainly big enough to eat a spider.
Manxifer: Yes, it's won all of the Intra-Garage Spider Fighting Championships thus far.
Manxifer: I wanted to give you the best. So I tested them all.
Manxifer: In mortal combat.
Egyptian316: Ah. So that's why this spider is wearing the spiked wristbands and tiny skull mask

Back With a Vengeance!

Sun, 13 Feb 2005 05:59:04 GMT

Egyptian316: Holy crap. On Madagascar there used to be a lemur called the tratratratra that weighed 400 pounds. Can you imagine how big it's eyes must have been?
Manxifer: Like dinner plates?
Egyptian316: Hell yeah
Egyptian316: I bought some sciency magazines today, a National Geographic Special Edition and a Discover. Anyway, the National Geographic is about exploration and shit. It's got these Russian guys exploring a cave 6,822 ft deep.
Manxifer: And they found lemurs there?
Egyptian316: No, just those cannibal gnomes.
Egyptian316: You know, the ones who were at your birthday party last year.
Manxifer: The ones who left in a huff after you wouldn't let them eat the clown?
Egyptian316: I couldn't afford to let them eat that damn clown!
Egyptian316: Clown replacement is expensive!
Manxifer: I paid one of those gnomes ten bucks to say "hey, does this taste funny to you?" And do you think he gave me my money back on the way out?
Egyptian316: You were a fool to trust a cannibal gnome with your money
Manxifer: You were a fool to pass up the best show we ever would have seen!
Manxifer: Cannibal gnomes eating a clown! How many people get to see that before they die?
Egyptian316: Hey, if you want to pay $1200 to Rent-A-Clown Limited then you be my guest. I figured you'd be satisfied with the 19th Century Poet Microphone Battle. It took a long time to find Yeats with that crappy time machine you know.
Manxifer: Yeah, that was pretty cool.
Manxifer: But I'm pretty sure that wasn't really Oscar Wilde.
Egyptian316: Well he sure looked like Oscar Wilde and he was certainly gay like Oscar Wilde...
Manxifer: And I'm guessing you found him in a gutter staring up at the stars.
Egyptian316: It was a 19th century gutter!
Manxifer: That doesn't make him Oscar Wilde!
Manxifer: And speaking of the 19th century, perhaps you'd like to return "The Wilde Man," as he's taking to calling himself, back there someday?
Egyptian316: I haven't seen him in a few days actually. He was "going out to get some air" or something.
Egyptian316: Doesn't much matter I suppose. Elizabeth Barrett Browning stole the fucking show. Who knew an old lady like that even knew those sorts of words?
Manxifer: Who knew she could put away that much Wild Turkey?
Egyptian316: Who knew she could knock out Hawthorne with one punch?
Manxifer: Man, what a birthday.
Egyptian316: Yeah. We really ought to find out what happened to John Clare after he and Nicole went for that joyride in that old station wagon. I'm pretty sure he's one of those historical figures I ought to put back.
Manxifer: *shrugs*
Manxifer: We will.
Manxifer: In time.
Manxifer: hahahahahaha
Manxifer: Get it?
Manxifer: IN TIME!
Egyptian316: Yeah. We should probably do it before history discombobulates anymore. Memorizing all these new states is getting confusing.
Manxifer: It's not so bad. Look, I made a flag with velcro stars!
Egyptian316: Nice try, but during the last discombobulation we switched back to the 'Don't Tread On Me' flag again.
Manxifer: Damn.

Don't Get Caulky!

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 01:01:02 GMT

Kydarin: Super heroes based on puns should never be.
Manxifer: The same can be said of super heroes based on sports.
Kydarin: "Mild-mannered plumbing repair specialist Arthur J. Dent becomes a hero to the silicone challenged. He is, Caulk of the Walk!"
Kydarin: "I'm Chicken Finger Lickin'. And man, am I good."
Manxifer: Oh man.
Manxifer: That's profoundly awful.
Manxifer: If you came up with that....
Kydarin: Yeah, I thought you'd appreciate it.
Manxifer: You should be proud. ^_^
Kydarin: I did, I did.
Kydarin: In the can no less.

It's All So Clear To Me Now

Sun, 28 Nov 2004 04:46:28 GMT

Egyptian316: *yawns mightily*
Manxifer: *grabs hold of something heavy and hangs on for dear life*
Egyptian316: I didn't realize I was that tired
Manxifer: *stands up, looks at the wreckage*
Manxifer: How can anyone be that tired?!
Manxifer: I think you inhaled the coffee table.
Egyptian316: *coughs up an ottoman* Well I didn't sleep well last night.
Manxifer: Sorry about that. I didn't realize howler monkeys would be so loud.
Egyptian316: They probably wouldn't be if they hadn't gotten into that cask of bullhorns.
Manxifer: Why do we have those again?
Egyptian316: Why do we have a periscope in the living room? Why do we have a 1300' fireman's pole into the secret diamond mine? Why does the Observatorium have all those Nichole traps? You know why we have these things. Because without them we would be doomed.

My Lexicon Just Got Bigger

Sun, 17 Oct 2004 08:16:04 GMT

Egyptian316: Well I think I'm going to get some bed
Manxifer: I was going to say "save some for me."
Manxifer: But then I realized how bad that sounds.
Manxifer: *cough*
Egyptian316: Yeah
Egyptian316: I set off enough people's gaydar as it is.
Manxifer: It's all the gayma radiation from your Pink Wave experiments.
Egyptian316: Yeah. There really are some secrets man was not meant to know.
Manxifer: Certainly not this man!

Three-Armed Poles. No, I'm serious.

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 19:54:38 GMT

Kydarin: Say, what ever happened to that Sitar Player - Juggling Bear routine you use to have going?
Kydarin: Er, wait, was that Brian?
Manxifer: Bear broke the Sitar.
Kydarin: I can never remember which one of you embarked in that...
Manxifer: Apparently, Sitars infuriate bears.
Kydarin: Oh. That's a shame. I though that it was a sound idea. What about the player?
Manxifer: We don't talk about him....
Manxifer: Especially not around his family.
Kydarin: Strange, I'd have thought that having a young polish man with three arms would've been strange enough to mollify a simple bear.
Manxifer: Turns out that arm in the middle of his chest was fake.
Manxifer: Kind of embarrassing not to have noticed that right off the bat.
Kydarin: That soundrel! And I gave him a new watch for it too!
Manxifer: Oh. I have that if you want it back.
Manxifer: But.... it's been inside a bear.
Kydarin: Um...does it still work...nevermind.
Kydarin: How did you notice that his arm was fake? Was it during the "Saw His Fucking Arm Off" skit?
Manxifer: Funny thing. It was the bear that noticed first!
Kydarin: You know, I could've sworn that was a vegan bear when I sold him to you.
Kydarin: I mean, he only ate penguins.
Manxifer: Vegan means... never mind.

Nufangled Metal

Sun, 05 Sep 2004 02:47:32 GMT

Egyptian316: Man I wish that some metal bands would get a singer to replace their growler.
Manxifer: Like?
Manxifer: Wait, nm. There are too many.
Egyptian316: I mean, I'm not even asking the singer be good. Just don't roar all the lyrics at the same volume in exactly the same way all the goddamn time
Manxifer: You want a little bit of a... uh... a... shit, what's that thing called?
Manxifer: A tune!
Manxifer: You want one of those?
Egyptian316: Yeah
Egyptian316: We had them all the time when I was a young'n
Egyptian316: Today's metal has too much jukkajukkajukka and not enough doodleoodleoodle